


eli's tumblr posts

by sockiesock



Series: eli & abraham [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Modern AU, Tumblr AU, eli has a really popular tumblr, idk this is just a weird thing i made
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 00:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sockiesock/pseuds/sockiesock
Summary: this is so stupid idk why i did it but just let me live





	eli's tumblr posts

**Author's Note:**

> this is so stupid idk why i did it but just let me live

elephantboy  
i am going to run myself over with a truck

420grazeit  
what happened

elephantboy  
i accidentally called mall santa "daddy"

* * *

elephantboy  
why are people afraid of me. i'm literally a gay 20 year old tranny who wants to die like the rest of y'all

hamilfanny  
I'm afraid of you because you're an adult and might be a pedophile

elephantboy  
i have like no sex drive, i already have a boyfriend, and i hate children  
i promise i am not a pedophile

ifyouwerequeerxx  
sounds like something a pedophile would say

elephantboy  
no, something a pedophile would say is "get in my van, i have candy"

ifyouwerequeerxx  
how do you know what a pedophile would say? BUSTED BITCH

elephantboy  
FUCK

* * *

elephantboy  
me: oh daddy come to bed  
my boyfriend: okay *lays on bed*  
me: mmmm..... *tucks him in, reads a bedtime story, turns light off, kisses him on the forehead* goodnight my dear

* * *

anonymous asked: "is your fursona an elephant"

elephantboy resonded: "gUYS PLEASE STOP ASKING ME THIS IT'S A NICKNAME MY BOYFRIEND GAVE ME SKSHSHDG"

* * *

whiteboysgonewrong asked: "What's your boyfriend's name?"

elephantboy responded: "xX_PotatoChan_Xx"

elephantboy  
and no he's not a 12 year old girl

* * *

elephantboy  
I'M A SLUT FOR *NOT* ROMANTICIZING MENTAL ILLNESSES

peterparkersasshole  
I followed for this

elephantboy  
please don't i'm a fucking mess

* * *

elephantboy  
how to kill my 12 year old sister without being arrested

elephantboy  
shit this ain't google

* * *

elephantboy  
tee hee x3 what awe you dowing wight now giwls? uwu

grapesgrapesgrapes  
i'm blocking

elephantboy  
_please don't i love you_

* * *

mamamiaaaaa asked: "what if your boyfriend found your account and thought you actually had a daddy kink and started saying shit like 'come to daddy'"

elephantboy responded: "i'm deactivating"

* * *

elephantboy  
is the url daddyslittleboy taken?

elephantboy  
fuck it is

whattheactualhck  
wh.... why do y... why do you as..k..,

elephantboy  
i want to make a porn blog but now i can't because some fucktard took my url

stevennn  
damn i hate when i try to make a porn blog and some fucktard takes my url

* * *

elephantboy  
i want to fuck daddy pennywise

asseater69  
uhh?? what the actual fuck

elephantboy  
i'm sorry if this post makes you uncomfortable, asseater69

* * *

elephantboy  
i wanna say that i support asexuals but i'm scared someone's gonna call me a pedophile like they did with thomas sanders

* * *

anonymous asked: "you're so old!!!"

elephantboy responded: "I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO DRINK STOP CALLIMG ME OLD"

* * *

elephantboy  
throwback to my boyfriend (whom i was not dating at the time) bought me a beer and almost got us both arrested

elephantboy  
i should mention this was literally a week before i turned 21

* * *

elephantboy  
MY BF'S GETTING A TUMBLR SKSHSH WHY AM I SCARED

abrahammylincoln  
why do you have so many posts calling me daddy

elephantboy  
deactivating

* * *

elephantboy  
i used my boyfriend's dick to catfish someone (bc i dont have a dick) and it was such a weird experience

abrahammylincoln  
THATS WHY YOU ASKED FOR DICK PICS

elephantboy  
YES SHSHHSDG

* * *

abrahammylincoln  
i just pulled down my boyfriend's pants and he doesn't have a dick? where did it go

elephantboy  
when i was born they accidentally missed my belly button cord thing

abrahammylincoln  
ohhhhhh damn that sucks :/


End file.
